Men

My topic is about one of the most interesting topics to women is men. Our experiences differ with each other about men. We all have our stories to tell on how we found the one or that we’re looking or, like myself, I found content being on my own.

Growing up, I always dreamed of finding the one. In my younger years, my crushes include Marvin Gaye, David Ruffin from the Temptations, Michael Jackson younger years and John Denver. Spending most of my childhood in the metro Detroit area and being born in Highland Park, music more than sports influenced my young crushes.In my teen years, my crush was on a classmate who we shared mutual friends and who was always kind to me although he dated a cheerleader while he played football. Years later in Nashville on my honeymoon, I would see him again because he recognized me from across the room.

College years was more of sleeping around my sophomore year and beyond because I was at a private college where most of the male students were from out of State and some had girlfriends at home. Personally, it was something which I did on occasion because I felt lonely. I transferred from a 2 year junior college with dormitories to a private four year college big in the auto industry. My freshman year, I did date sporadically with a future pilot for a beer company but he ended it to date and eventually marry a girl who had a crush on him who grew up with him and went to the same high school and were from the same town. With the birth of MTV while I was in college, my crushes included Eddie Van Halen and Phil Collin’s.

Post college, I met a man at a bar who I would eventually marry although I was explicitly warned against because I didn’t know the person who was warning me thus lack of trust. The woman who raised him, not his birth Mother, played a huge role in our split plus his infidelities. Working in a financial institution at the time of our divorce, I got to know a few men who visited weekly. One, I had a crush on because we are the same ethnicity and from the same town, but he was dangerous with his after work activities. The other two who also visited the financial institution where I worked weekly were both closer to our personalities fitting each other. One ended meeting someone who I was/am happy for but the other remains single. Near the end of my employment, I shared that likely I would be moving to Texas which he told me where he cousin lived. He did tell me that I was a lady but he dates “factory whores” so that it wouldn’t be right for either of us. I did see him once but I refused to acknowledge his beeping. His cousin doesn’t live far away.

With work being a conflict of interest, I found a had a strong crush on a financial examiner at my work for years. When he learned about how I felt about him, he admitted that he had one for me. His energy was of pure sex appeal for me although he wasn’t the most gorgeous man that I was interested in. For years, I secretly wondered about him. One day, I admitted to my supervisor/friend about it because I trusted her and still do. She asked me if she could tell him which I gave her the okay to share. Come to find out, he had a crush me too but conflict of interest stopped us. Later, I moved to Texas which we kept in touch but ended it because nothing ever changed.

Musically, my celebrity crushes include Michael Bolton whose music got me through a divorce and who later I missed a chance to meet him in Detroit. Phil Collin’s still a crush. In college, I did work for an outdoor music theatre that I was near many of the music makers in the 80s. Michael McDonald and Peter Cetera were my favorites. Jon Bon Jovi and Eddie Van Halen were huge to me as well as I imagine some of you. Oddly, I never connected with actors of the big or the small screens although “Friends” which everyone had their person who was a crush or who was relatable.

In my life now and in the past, I have grown content being on my own with my cats. Yes, I appreciate the handsome man with bonus points of a personality and soul that makes him unforgettable. My heart hopes that person who I hope that he is happy and content no matter his profession or life’s work.

What are your experiences with men? What kind of wisdom have you shared with your daughters and granddaughters about men and relationships?

Thank you,

Leslie Elizabeth David.

Bella and Luna

My Bella and Luna came to me after I came back from my home State after visiting for the first time since I moved two years ago in April. I had lost my Seville who was my Burmese male who was adopted with his brother, Madrid, from an adoption roundup in west Michigan from a farmer who had the heart and soul to bring in three very pregnant females to make sure their babies found good homes. After Seville passed a couple of months before my first trip back to my home State, a coworker was rightfully concerned that I wouldn’t come back which I seriously considered truthfully so she found these two from a Facebook page for her town.

Bella and Luna were with the parents of the daughter who no longer wanted them because she and her family had other cats and responsibilities then she handed them to her parents. They were with their birth Mom almost three months prior. They were nine months old, flee ridden and half of the size they should be due to lack of care and of food. It was a mess but when I met them, I knew what needed to be done. After I left their house where they were staying, I bought lots of cat food, treats and toys plus a weighted blanket for comfort.

Before I even landed from my trip, they were calling me to come get the cats so after being dropped off at my house and unpacked, I went over there with one cat carrier to get them both. They were terrified rightfully so which was expected. As soon as we got home, I made sure the food dish was full which I was continuously filling up to keep up with their appetites. Two weeks later, we went to the Vet for a full check up and shots then immediately afterwards, they went into heat then got fixed as well.

After the shock of moving and the medical treatments, the emotional healing process started, Luna was all in who’s on the right in the picture and slept near me on our queen size bed at night while Bell who’s on the left in the picture slept near the end. As time went on, anger issues came out and behavioral of fighting back which compounded when I had a bad day at work. Earning their trust involved lots of treats and always having a full food dish and water plus someplace warm to nap all day. Plus, made sure they had a place to perch in the sun.

During the transition period and afterwards, they had a tendency to act wild either when they wanted to play or were angry in an aggressive nature. My mistake is that I got mad and yelled out of anger but I learned from this because it only aggravated the situation. For the past months, my goal is to step back, breathe and give them love when they’re acting out which has resulted in a better quality of life for all of us. Truthfully, they expect me to yell at them and hide even now but it’s my reminder to be calm and kind. The healing process is continuing in different forms which I have to show them love and kindness along the way each step. It hasn’t been easy but they’re worth it because I am learning from them on how to be a better cat parent.

From this experience, my heart goes out to all the foster and adopted parents of human children who experienced abuse and neglect before being moved out. It’s a huge responsibility that requires love, grace, strength and understanding. Plus, the experience of earning trust with a child is enormous. My only experience is that I was born premature after my Mom learned that my Dad was unfaithful which I spent months at the hospital with my Grandma being there for me and not my parents. In that sense, I can relate to my baby girls of learning at a young age of not being loved and hurt multiple times.

My princess feline divas and I are doing well after two years of emotional and physical healing. Even though my coworker had selfish intentions about the cats, God used it for good. In August, I will be traveling again for one week out of State where I plan to check in on the pet hotel where my girls will be staying. I will make sure that they get plenty of treats during their stay. I believe that we are ready for this and they will be confident of my return to get them home.

Thank you for taking time to read about my felines and I. They are my world.

Leslie Elizabeth David.

Tuesday

How are you? How’s your day going? Ready for the week to end or happy that you feel like that you’re just getting started?

This is the third time which I’m starting this paragraph so I apologize for the inconvenience. At work, I may be considered a free spirit or a pain in the arse depending on who you speak to on any given day. Previously, I mentioned that I had deliberately chosen to keep my work life and private life separate. On Friday night, the female coworkers from my department decided to go out partying without me because I wasn’t invited. Was I upset? No which kinda bugged them more. To avoid from hearing all about it, I decided to call in yesterday as a “sick” day which I ended up not feeling well anyways. Truthfully, I am happy that they are all friends and get along so well. Personally, when not traveling, I am happy being home with my cats and following my childhood friends on Facebook. After college, my Dad would warn me constantly about being friends with those who I worked with. At that time, my instincts didn’t tell me different until after I lost my job of 22 years and moved 1100 miles.

As I matured, my tolerance for bull has decreased greatly. I would rather be at home with my cats than being with people who aren’t on my team.

Not sure if you can relate or if it’s totally not your vibe, I understand it. Although, I believe that as we are fortunate enough to age and to live life, we gain wisdom by experience and knowledge.

In closing, do what is best for you period.

Leslie Elizabeth David.

Sunday

How is your day going today?

Today, my Sunday, has been restful and peaceful which I feel its been long coming after doing my taxes and working on my online closet plus attending “live shows” of friends and mentors. Also, working on my finances to payoff my vacation to suburbs of NYC. I feel like I’ve been going nonstop for sometime now.

Growing up, my parents considered Saturday a day of rest and Sunday’s were home project day. Usually, Sunday was family project day such as clearing out the woods in front of our home, chopping/splitting wood and other things. Although, I feel fortunate that I got out of staining the wood deck at our home.

Afterwards, depending on my motivation, I would take care of chores and projects on Saturday and leave Sunday to actually rest. During graduate school, I would simultaneously clean my house and work on my weekly paper on Saturday. When I went back to church on Sunday’s, I would clean and do laundry afterwards. Now, it seems that I clean most of the time over the weekend and sometimes after work on Mondays.

This is my reminder for you to take care of yourself so that you feel rested and relaxed. Most of our peer group have grown children who are out of the house and have children of their own so our responsibilities have changed. Some of us are retired and some of us (like myself) work full time with a side hustle of my online closet with my love to write.

Thank you for your time,

Leslie Elizabeth David.


Dreams

Dreams defined by Wikipedia “is a succession of images, ideas, emotions and sensations during sleep.” What are you dreaming about?

Being on my own for a long period of time, I used to dream about a deep love and friendship with a man who I was meant to be with. It was Hallmark being in my dreams nightly never giving up hope until one day it changed. One day, I had a vision while I was awake and fully comprehensive about someone who I engaged in conversation with this man’s Mother who passed away years ago, Afterwards, my OCD kicked in and felt trapped by it which effected my relationship with him and his family. He had found someone else who I was relieved and happy for them. I finally felt free. Then, add wor

Since then, my dreams are more realistic and sometimes gory likely because of my viewing of watching American crime dramas in the past and now the British vintage ones written by Agatha Christie which may have some effect on my subconscious. I believe my viewing habits do affect my subconscious as well. Children have nightmares after watching a scary movie before bedtime as we all know.

Believe that our working environment and the people who we associate with have an impact on our subconscious and therefore our dreams. If your workplace is positive with defined rules of conduct and behavior, I believe that one may have good dreams about work and future opportunities. Some businesses are the opposite allowing toxic behavior to be acceptable and common. Even when one chooses to not engage in the behavior of those surrounding oneself, it does have influence on the subconscious and effecting one’s sleep pattern and dream state.

Truthfully, I was awake for hours until I finally decided to get up and blog about the importance of dreams. Now, I feel free and definitely awake.

What are you dreaming about? Have you ever had a vision before? Have your dreams ever came true? What are your thoughts and feelings about this?

Thank you once again,

Leslie Elizabeth David.

Thursday

As the work saying goes, “Happy PreFriday,” as we near the end of another week.

It’s been expensive one for my car as I had to replace the serpentine belt plus renew my subscription for my car wash since it’s getting warmer outside. Plus, experiencing muscle spasms from removing clothes from my closet to an online one to sell which included taking pictures, writing a description and setting a fair price. My closet feels empty but I am keeping the ones that I would wear.

About one year and 10 months ago, I adopted two rescue female cats that were 9 months old but the size of small kittens hungry, flea ridden and untrusting of anyone. Within weeks after consuming mass amounts of food, they quickly became the size of their peers. Luna quickly trusted me but Bella held back. These girls are tough when needed but are truly the most loving creatures ever. I have told them about their brothers who are no longer with us of Seville, Madrid and Adrian who are looking down and smiling at them plus Sukiyaki or SueSue.

Currently watching Agatha Christie’s “Poirot,” which I went back after watching,”Luther”on BritBox was too intense for me. My crime drama obsession came after I got tired of the Hallmark Channel’s movies of being the same story but different people and places. Appreciated the ,”Aurora Teagarden,” series then got hooked on,”Murder, She Wrote,” and “Diagnosis Murder.”

To keep things real, I have a divorced friend who is a mother of four adult children who three live outside of the home and one who moved back after his divorce. She thought that she was helping him out but feels he has taken advantage of the situation. His younger sisters bought a house and the other is married in Oklahoma.

My friend and I met years ago at our former employer which we both no longer are working at the same place. We connected on many levels although I am from Detroit originally and she’s from Vermont. Because of our cultural differences, we have had some conflicts on doing things but have remained friends.

Thank you for reading my thoughts and feelings for today. Much appreciated. Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences.

Thank you,

Leslie Elizabeth David.

Tuesday

As I make my hot tea and bagel for breakfast, I am blessed and thank God for my financial situation currently. January was a three paycheck month which instead of using the middle check like I originally planned to pay off small debt, I used it towards my house payment. After doing my taxes last night and working on my budget, life is good.

Today is the day I come in one hour later for work because I work on Saturday plus it is one hour less that I spend with coworkers who like to control everything and everyone. When I first started, I learned quickly to be silent and to keep my private life private. My last trip to made sure I came back, this coworker found two kittens that needed to be rescued after I lost my elderly male cat. Now with another big trip coming later this summer, she’s at a loss as to what to do.

As we mature, we learn that having peace is priceless which includes keeping private life private and not being interested in my coworkers lives too. Honestly, I wish them well with good health and friends but I don’t socialize with them and never share much. Truthfully, the sense of peace is priceless.

My friends who I grew up with and most of them I have known since kindergarten, I get together with them on Facebook mainly for a good laugh with supporting each other when needed. My bestie is in Michigan who we trust and who we share about finances, relationships and work plus anything else of interest. We’re both divorced although she has adult children and I don’t. Our relationship has survived our each individual changes.

May your Tuesday be peaceful and pleasant.

Leslie Elizabeth David.

Neighbors

Neighbors are people who we don’t choose but live near to them because of the location of or the price of the area plus good schools. Some neighbors end up being good friends while others aren’t.

Bought a house in an older community where my area is mostly quiet do to everyone works and/or goes to school with some retirees mixed in. Two doors down with a house that never left the 70’s in the golden mustard colored aluminum siding, there’s some men who live there who work hard all week and party hard all weekend with loud music and lots of alcohol. The music was being played all night at high volumes. Police were called in by me thus little things started happening like lock being picked and motor oil put on my window sills outside. After sometime of thought and prayer, I decided to take a different approach. I decided to write them on the first letter I told them that I would no longer be contacting the police and wanted to live in peace. Immediately after, the music and partying started up again. Within hours, I wrote another letter about having a purpose in their lives to help make this world a better place which helped until I sensed that they needed direction. My last one recently sent was of places to locate volunteer opportunities and encouragement.

Where I used to live, I used to volunteer at church, at PBS and at the Ronald McDonald house plus homeless shelters. I believe that we are created to help this world a better place and to help others. In my heart, I cannot encourage something if I haven’t done it myself. Been told that I have the gift of encouragement which might open the doors of others to learn their calling and purpose. Truthfully, I understand the need to have a few adult beverages and to listen to music to get over a week of work at a job and an employer that aren’t always the best. Finally, there’s no coincidence that we’re neighbors but purpose. We all have gifts that will help someone in a meaningful way.

Thanks again,

Leslie Elizabeth David.

Control

In our younger years, our parents had to control our behavior to keep us safe and out of trouble with boundaries and methods to better our behavior.

As we grow up, we learn to behave within the boundaries of society and the law for many but not all. So, I’m going to flip it upside down.

In my adulthood and likely yours, there’s been people who are in an our peer group to try to control our behavior and our choices not for our benefit but for theirs. Currently and in my past, I have a coworker who likes to control people and situations who act like he/she is your friend then judges on your decisions until one does it her/his way. In addition, if one takes it his/her way which fails, she/he refuses responsibility and blames for person being controlled.

Recently, I have cut my hair and changed my hair color plus planned an adventurous trip this summer which my controlling coworker found out about. She’s not pleased. My last trip after losing my feline, to make sure I came back, she found two feline kittens for me to adopt. As for the hair, she was going to get her’s cut and colored but is afraid of how it would be forgetting that hair does grow back. At work, I rarely share of my personal life and I rarely participate in company events. Over the Christmas season, I was pressured into doing a gift exchange and attending the company party which I chose not to do either partially being a Christmas baby (blogged about previously) and not being controlled. My controlling coworker buddies up to new employees and our supervisor leading them to believe that she can be a trusted friend and coworker to influence them and to control them. In the beginning, I did fall for it until I was making decisions without her approval which she got mad at me plus I took over some of her responsibilities because I did them better. The continuous looks of disapproval from her and her best buddy coworker are always interesting because I’m living my life on my terms and not hers.

As we get older and wiser, we have strength to choose who we want in our lives and how much influence someone will have as well. Peace of mind and freedom are benefits from this. We have learned from past experiences of others who are in our team and who aren’t from recognizable behavior patterns. Strength likely becomes from being sick and tired of being controlled thus causing radical break in the relationship.

May you live your life to the fullest on your terms!

Thank you,

Leslie Elizabeth David.

Friendship

Friends are the best! Although not everyone is a best friend, each one is worthy. We have schoolmates, fellow coworkers and neighbors who are friends at are part of our lives some for short periods and some longer. People and circumstances change so relationships change with them or some grow with them.

Myself, I have a one or two friends who I share my deepest secrets with about work, men, cooking, etc. Then, I have a couple of friends who I share less with but may have known for a longer period of time. Most of my friends on Facebook are who I have know some of them since kindergarten, 55 plus years now, and others early elementary and junior high who I necessarily don’t share our problems with but go on to encourage someone or to have a good laugh with. One person who I thought was my friend ended our relationship because I no longer live in my old area. Another one has dropped me who dumped me because I refused to move to her area. Have met friends in college who I talk to once in a while. Currently, who I consider my best friend who I met at work where we seemed to connect although we have different childhoods in different parts of the country. We found our common ground and grew it. We are a lot alike and we are different too.

When the NBC TV sitcom, Friends, aired it touched my heart because during different times of my life, I have had a Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, Joey, Ross and Chandler or some version of the character of the tv show. The show celebrated the power of friendship and positive effects on the human soul. Each character was someone who is relatable.

The song, Thank You for Being A Friend, written by Andrew Gold for the television show, The Golden Girls, shares the true meaning of friendship. https://youtu.be/voNEgCKzves.

The Bible has a verse about friends in Proverbs 17:17 which says,” A friend loves at all times and a brother is born of diversity,” which implies a true friend is as valuable as a family member. Overheard my brothers calling their friends, “Bro,” more than once.

Friendship day is on August 3rd when we celebrate our friends no matter if they’re are best friends or share a good laugh with on occasion. The day was created by a greeting card company though. There are other days celebrating best friends, BFF and National Girlfriend Day which I believe that they are all good reasons to contact a friend to get together.

In closing, I encourage you to reach out to your friends from any one aspect of your life or all. Let them know how grateful you are to have them in your life.

Please feel free to share your stories about your friends on how they helped you out in time of need, on how you both got into mischief together and other adventures.

Thank you,

Leslie Elizabeth David.