Life brings me the most “happiness” when I relearn a thousand times over that it’s a mindset over circumstance and not allowing the circumstance to control one’s mind.
For example, Christmas was a huge stress event for me that normally a three plus hour drive from west Michigan to northern Michigan on US-131 that is a freeway when I enter the road but changes to a two lane highway north of Cadillac. Also, the amount of snow on the ground significantly increases as well.
Then, you add family dynamics into the picture. Me, being born premie and being a free spirit with no problem being truthful and honest sends the ripple of added stress to the Holiday. Normally, my coat wasn’t even off before the criticism began.
At one point, I decided that I will no longer handover the my power and my control to be happy over the Holiday to any of my family members. Tested the theory one year by staying put in west Michigan instead of driving north which proved that I was allowing them to get to me to be a downer and rain on my happiness. Honestly, one of the best Christmas’s ever!!
The following year, I did drive the 3.5 hours north which I knew that the only way that I was going to survive and be somewhat happy is to no longer allow comments from parents and family members to destroy me. It worked. The “not giving a f$&@“ attitude turned things right side up for me. The realization that the tables have turned didn’t sit well with them so I packed up and left.
A few years later, I moved to north Texas which the powers that be (my parents) did try legally stopping me from moving with attorneys who remembered me well as a high school cheerleader positively. Being a competent adult, I knew they had no feet legally to stand on as well.
Today, I am thankful for the years that I was strong and didn’t allow family to control my happiness and the years that I was weak and allowed them to control it gave me a strong sense of their true colors and being a learning experience.
In closing, families aren’t always supportive and loving like a Hallmark movie suggests during the Holiday season. In some cities like Detroit and Cleveland, domestic violence increases significantly over Christmas. So, choose happiness this season. Don’t let them get into you. You have the power to choose.
Merry Christmas,
Leslie Elizabeth David.
The Magnificent Modern Mature Woman 