Control

In our younger years, our parents had to control our behavior to keep us safe and out of trouble with boundaries and methods to better our behavior.

As we grow up, we learn to behave within the boundaries of society and the law for many but not all. So, I’m going to flip it upside down.

In my adulthood and likely yours, there’s been people who are in an our peer group to try to control our behavior and our choices not for our benefit but for theirs. Currently and in my past, I have a coworker who likes to control people and situations who act like he/she is your friend then judges on your decisions until one does it her/his way. In addition, if one takes it his/her way which fails, she/he refuses responsibility and blames for person being controlled.

Recently, I have cut my hair and changed my hair color plus planned an adventurous trip this summer which my controlling coworker found out about. She’s not pleased. My last trip after losing my feline, to make sure I came back, she found two feline kittens for me to adopt. As for the hair, she was going to get her’s cut and colored but is afraid of how it would be forgetting that hair does grow back. At work, I rarely share of my personal life and I rarely participate in company events. Over the Christmas season, I was pressured into doing a gift exchange and attending the company party which I chose not to do either partially being a Christmas baby (blogged about previously) and not being controlled. My controlling coworker buddies up to new employees and our supervisor leading them to believe that she can be a trusted friend and coworker to influence them and to control them. In the beginning, I did fall for it until I was making decisions without her approval which she got mad at me plus I took over some of her responsibilities because I did them better. The continuous looks of disapproval from her and her best buddy coworker are always interesting because I’m living my life on my terms and not hers.

As we get older and wiser, we have strength to choose who we want in our lives and how much influence someone will have as well. Peace of mind and freedom are benefits from this. We have learned from past experiences of others who are in our team and who aren’t from recognizable behavior patterns. Strength likely becomes from being sick and tired of being controlled thus causing radical break in the relationship.

May you live your life to the fullest on your terms!

Thank you,

Leslie Elizabeth David.